As night falls, the lights of the city gradually light up, and the ships on the river seem to be swaying slowly, with a little fatigue and silence. Zanni stood on the edge of the port, with no smile or sadness on her face, just quietly looking at the vague light in the distance.
Her life is like the twilight of this city, gentle and silent, hiding countless stories submerged by time.
Wang Anyi’s novels are always full of such trivial daily life: a bowl of hot soup on the table, a leaf falling in the corridor, and the whispers of neighbors on the corner. Zanni is just such a woman wrapped in daily life. She is not a hero, nor does she have a grand story, only a pair of delicate eyes and a heart that watches silently.
She works in Mingchao’s system every day, processing complex and cold data and commands. Her world is a network of countless lines interwoven, an invisible network that firmly controls everything. Her characters are like the old-fashioned street lamps in the alleys of Shanghai. Although inconspicuous, they light up the night one by one.
Some people say that she is indifferent and like a machine, but in fact she is just living in another way. The characters in Wang Anyi’s works are always overwhelmed by the heaviness of real life, and Zanni is the same. Her silence is the deepest response to life, and it is her attempt to maintain her integrity with reason and tenacity.
She is not unfeeling, but her emotions are never publicized. She knows that once emotions are exposed, they will become a burden to others and may also become the reason for her elimination.
In a large-scale system crisis, Zanni insisted on her post and did not close her eyes for almost three days and three nights. Her body struggled on the edge of exhaustion, but her eyes were extremely firm. She knew that this was not just a job, but a battle with time and fate.
At this time, she was no longer an ordinary employee, but an invisible guardian of the city.
There is often a faint sadness in Wang Anyi’s writings, which is a feeling of the passage of time and social changes. Zani’s life is also full of this kind of sorrow. She once dreamed of a freer life and longed for warmth and companionship, but reality made her learn to hide herself and learn to resist loneliness with silence.
She likes to walk alone through the alleys of the old street after get off work, where there is no hustle and bustle of neon lights, only wet bluestone slabs and drifting tea fragrance. Those tiny sounds and smells are very much like her past memories, distant but warm.
She also likes to sit in front of the window, brew a pot of Pu’er, and watch the raindrops outside the window slowly slide down. Every breath is a careful observation of her own life. Wang Anyi likes to describe this quiet moment because it can best show the inner waves of the characters.
Zani’s love story is also very simple, without a grand vow, only a few silent glances and quiet care. She knows that love is a long-lasting stream, and it is for each other to stay together in countless ordinary days. Unfortunately, her life is bound by responsibilities and missions, and it is difficult to give in easily.
She sometimes sighs softly in the dead of night. But the next day, she would still put on her uniform, and walk into the system full of thorns and light with that unnoticed tenacity.
Zanni is a microcosm of this era. Her silence and perseverance reflect the helplessness and struggle of a generation in the face of a rapidly changing society. She did not choose to be a hero who changed the world, but chose to be a guardian, interpreting the meaning of life in her own way.
Wang Anyi once said: “Life is a long wait, waiting for someone who can understand you.” Zanni may be waiting for someone who can see the flame in her heart, someone who can penetrate her silence.
Her flame is not blazing, but warm enough; her watch is not ostentatious, but profound and lasting.
She is like a city in the twilight, quiet but indispensable, ordinary but worth remembering.